I’m nervous. I hold in my hand a hurriedly typed resignation letter. I knock feebly on my manager’s door. No answer. He isn’t there. I breath a sigh of relief and turn back. First job out of college and I am resigning in less than four weeks. I return to my workstation to find my colleagues trying to decide on where to take the three new joiners for their welcome lunch. “Ali, which restaurant would you prefer?” Daniel asks. I smile meekly tucking the letter deep into my pocket, “I’m fine with anything, really, you guys choose!” I’m not fine. The awkwardness is unbearable. I cannot go through with this. That evening, when everyone leaves I empty out my belongings into a cardboard box and leave the office laptop at my desk. At home, I type out a “sincere” note to my manager thanking him for the opportunity. I have found a better offer with another company, I say. Partly true. I started in finance and have found a job in supply chain at a highly sought after multinational, with marginally better pay. I am switching fields at a drop of a hat. I apologize to him for my abrupt and awkward exit and ask that he find it in himself to forgive me. I press the send button and breath a deep sigh of relief. I am not sure what being unprofessional means, but this sure doesn’t feel like it. Not at the time. I was wrong. I lost new friends, I lost my fledgling network, I could have handled my resignation better. I could’ve still tapped them for help to years later, had I left professionally. Not to mention that I should have thought twice before opting out of a career in finance for supply chain. A story for another time but the bitter fact is that hindsight is 20/20.

I’m emotional. I press the send button on an email that reads like a live grenade. A supply chain colleague is refusing to accept responsibility for the mess up. He is clearly blame-shifting. 1 million shampoo bottles have an incorrect price printed on them and now need to be re-stickered with the correct price. More effort, more cost. Who is to blame? Definitely, not me . I have the evidence – an email notifying him of the right price. I have copied his bosses and put the proverbial gun to his head. I felt this way of eking out a confession was the right thing to do. I was wrong I was naive. Later I learn, that people, even if they’ve done wrong, have self-esteem and an ego — such direct and accusatory language be it with evidence is taken by everyone in bad taste. I did not know.

I’m selfish. “Ali, great job on closing out the financing project.” my manager says. “Thanks David, it wasn’t easy, a lot of blood, sweat and tears but glad it got completed on time.” My direct reports who sit next to me look away awkwardly. They were the workhorses that drove the project to success. I felt praise was a zero sum game – if you give more you have less for yourself. If you receive it don’t distribute, keep it all to yourself. I was wrong. Appreciation when shared blossoms. Genuine appreciation can make a report’s day, can put a spring in his or her step and boost their self-esteem. More importantly, it strengthens a managers bond with his report. The list of positives of projecting your reports achievements to leadership and cross-functionally are endless. But there again, hindsight is 20/20.

Starting and growing one’s own business or side hustle predominates the motivational and personal development landscape today. Don’t get me wrong, entrepreneurship and financial independence is a worthy goal. I love the talks of various motivational speakers and listen to them frequently. But every day I also ask myself, I want to know what are the things that I need to do in the confines of my 9 to 5 job that can propel me in my career? How do I respond to a provocative email that is staring at me? How do I make my meetings more effective? How do I deal with a conflict at work? How do I not let a conflict bother me and ruin the rest of my day? How do I get over a heated argument with my boss? My emails are a mess, how do I make them sharper? My inbox is a mess, how can I be more organized? What does continuously scrolling through Linkedin Job posting have to say about my job satisfaction? Why am I unsatisfied? How do I avoid having a series of unproductive, guilt-ridden days? And countless similar questions. Lets face it although the entrepreneur life has its allure, a great majority of us will be working professionals for most of our lives. We want to live that life well. We need actionable tips that can be implemented to reveal a gradual, positive change in our day. This blog aims to do just that – provide the tools to turn your ideal workday from a pipedream to reality.